Let’s face it: everyone has heard about the women of Ukraine. But, while it seems that the whole world loves talking about Ukrainian women, there is significantly less info out there on their male counterparts. Unfortunately, in today’s day and age, the online dating community seems to portray Ukrainian men in a negative fashion that is generally unwarranted. In light of this, we’re going to flip the script up a little bit. Today we’re talking all about Ukrainian men.
Table of Contents
Why The Bad Reputation?
In the online dating space, there’s an overarching sentiment that there is something wrong with Ukrainian men.
From negative stereotypes to outright lies, it is as if their women must be “rescued” by thirsty men from the West.
Aside from my own personal love of living in Ukraine, it’s obvious there’s a huge amount of exaggeration, and even some outright lies in sentiments such as these. Some have gone as far as to make sweeping generalizations. They say that Ukrainian men are alcoholics, that they are poor, or even that they are abusive.
As someone who loves Ukrainian women and is friends with plenty of Ukrainian men, I hate reading this stuff. It’s clear that people with these attitudes have taken little time to really understand the situation in Ukraine.
Unfortunately, there is typically a bit of truth in every stereotype that exists.
The first one has to do with alcohol consumption.
Higher Than Average Mortality Rate
One thing that we know for sure is that women generally outnumber men in Ukraine. For a Western man looking to date in the country, this is the first big advantage he will see. It’s not uncommon for two women to desire a relationship with the same man of higher value.
It’s a nice change of pace from things in the West.
But, that’s where the lightheartedness ends.
We have to consider why exactly this is. Sadly, it has much to do with alcohol consumption creating a much higher than normal mortality rate for men under the age of 35.
Ukraine has the world’s second-highest death rate, mostly related to drinking, smoking and physical activity. The stereotype about Ukrainians being a group that drinks heavily is certainly true.
The average person consumes 13 cubic liters of alcohol each year. Vodka is the national beverage. Alcoholism is rampant among older men. It’s sad, but true, and it’s left a bad taste in the mouths of many Ukrainian women.
Beyond boozing alone, men in Eastern Europe tend to be at more risk for serious injury and early death than almost any other population on earth.
It’s not easy for a country to have the world’s second-highest death rate, especially one that is relatively peaceful such as. Ukraine. To understand why this is, you have to take a look at youth culture among young Ukrainian guys.
Have you ever seen those crazy “Russian daredevil” videos, where some 20-year-old kid from Eastern Europe is seen hanging from the ledge of a 50 story building?
No? Okay, here you go. Watch this video.
As you can see, this stuff isn’t a joke. Every young man goes through a bit of a reckless phase at one point or another. But, it’s particularly pronounced in a place like Ukraine.
If you’re now thinking “why the hell are these guys so crazy,” you’re on the right track. Of course, you could blame a whole host of issues. But, I personally tend to think it has much to do with plain old poverty.
Poverty in Ukraine
Let me ask you this: have you ever been poor?
Not just “having to pay the rent a week late” poor. I’m talking about the point where your future is uncertain.
I speak from experience. Poverty seriously messes with your head.
You’re simply not going to be at your best when you are poor. Nobody who is struggling to make ends meet is dishing out their hard-earned cash for expensive gym memberships, cool clothes, and premium dating apps that help you meet women.
All in all, being poor is generally a disaster for your state of mind. It’s particularly terrible when trying to date and pick up women.
The Money-Mindset Connection
When you’re more worried about keeping the bills paid at your family’s apartment in Kyiv, chances are you aren’t going to be in the mood to go approach the hot Natasha that lives down the hallway.
Hell, even if a lot of these guys did manage to muster up the courage to do so, many can’t even afford to take a girl on a basic date.
Instead, a foreigner who’s living the easy life will swoop in and begin the process of courting her.
This is not meant to denigrate Ukrainian men. For the locals, life is hard in Ukraine, and I’d argue it’s particularly tough for men who are expected to be masculine providers.
They’re expected to provide, but it’s insanely hard to find a good job unless they do some serious hustling online like their digital nomad counterparts.
As it turns out, in a traditional culture like Ukraine, your financial standing is generally seen as tantamount to being a good candidate for a long term relationship.
Ukrainian Women & Money: They’re NOT “Gold Diggers”
Just as there’s a negative conception of Ukrainian men being philandering alcoholics, there’s an equally harmful stereotype of Ukrainian women simply being “gold diggers.”
Granted, there are definitely some scummy women out there who want to take your hard-earned cash. It is, for this reason, there are really only a few dating sites that we suggest using. Each of these specifically screens all members of the site before they approve their accounts, ensuring the experience is as safe as it is rewarding.
Pro-tip: Check out our review of Ukraine Date here.
But, we have to remember that the type of people who do this are a very small subset of the population. For the most part, most Ukrainian women will not simply date a man because he either has more money than her. Or, they won’t consider a man for marriage just because he is from a more prosperous country where his earning potential is higher.
If that were the case, all women on earth would be flocking to 60-year-old men with fat retirement accounts. That being said, every country will have a select few girls who are interested in sugar dating and sponsorship game.
Obviously, money isn’t everything. But, it is something.
One of my favorite quotes about the relationship between success with women and money is as follows…
“Money facilitates spontaneity. Women don’t care about money, they care about having fun.”
And it’s absolutely true. Like Cindy Lauper always says…
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
If you think you’re going to woo a Ukrainian woman (or any woman, for that matter) by flashing screenshots of your bank statement and your American passport, you’ve got another thing coming.
But, there’s not a woman in the world who wouldn’t appreciate a spontaneous trip to a new city, where you travel on a nice enough flight and stay at a comfortable hotel. You enjoy a few nice meals on the way, and lavish in each other’s presence. You fall in love.
It’s how these things work. Haven’t you ever seen a romantic comedy?
Women melt over this kind of thing.
Love and genuine bonding with any girl tend to come about as a result of shared experiences. In either case, without having money, facilitating experiences such as this is challenging, if not impossible.
Of course, no quality woman is going to outright DEMAND that you take her on a vacation. But no woman would reasonably refuse such an offer with a man she finds attractive, either.
As you can see, Western men in a poor country like Ukraine have a huge advantage with their financial situation. Therefore their prospects with women are far improved as well.
Western Men Have An Advantage Over Ukrainian Men
Now, think back to the prior example of being a foreigner in Ukraine. Due to just how cheap it is, if you’re making even a meager online salary, you have the ability to facilitate a great deal of spontaneity and show your Ukrainian love interest a very good time.
Think about it: if she dates a local man, there’s a very low chance he will have his own place that’s not shared with roommates or family. Alone time will be tough to come by. Their dates will consist of small walks around the town, attending events that take place locally and sitting in the park.
There’s nothing wrong with this. If a girl truly loves you, she’ll put up with whatever situation you find yourself in just to be around you.
But, let’s not kid ourselves. Being an attractive, well off man in a place where most men are not is clearly going to be a huge help.
Now, think about this: if she’s dating you, you’re almost guaranteed to have a private apartment that’s probably nicer than the one she’s grown up in. You’ll likely have no problem paying $25 for a nice meal for two, going to “expensive” cocktail bars where you’ll still only be paying $5-6 per drink, and perhaps even going on a few cool trips a year together.
Ukrainian women are not gold-diggers. But, they are human.
This whole notion that the amount of money you have has nothing to do with the type of woman that you attract is categorically false. It’s lofty idealism at it’s very best.
Money is like oxygen. Most women could care less about how much you have, or even how you made it.
What women do care about is how you make them feel, and the things you do together.
And money will improve both your ability to make a woman feel, and to have new experiences together.
Traditionalism
Let’s not forget that there’s a level of traditionalism that exists in Eastern Europe where men are expected to provide for their women.
Feminism never really took hold in Eastern Europe.
While women are certainly integrated into the workforce in many of these countries, it’s generally accepted that the man is to be the breadwinner in a relationship.
To qualify as a strong, masculine man, you generally have to have the ability to pay for dates. You also must show the potential of being a stable longterm provider.
As it turns out, the two go hand in hand.
Let’s think of all of the traits of a wealthy man. He’s ambitious, he goes after what he wants, and he’s not too afraid of standing up for himself.
A side effect of these traits is often that you’ll be in good financial standing, as they’re the skills you need to make it today. Coincidentally, these are also some of the traits that most women find attractive.
Unfortunately, our Ukrainian brethren have been getting the short end of this stick for decades. A local Ukrainian man may work in a factory for less than $3 per hour, while a Western “digital nomad” can quite easily make hundreds each day on the internet.
Your Life vs. The Life of a Ukrainian Man
While you’re enjoying a cappuccino in a coffee shop that most Ukrainians have to spend a day’s salary just to visit, many of the guys you’ll be competing with wasting their lives serving an economy that is fundamentally broken.
So, you tell me. If you are a woman, who would be your logical choice? Would you choose to be with a local man who, while she may have a strong initial attraction for him, can’t afford to take her on a basic date and has an unstable financial future?
You have to remember, Ukrainian women are always thinking logically about the men they choose to date. There’s always the thought in the back of their mind if the relationship they are in could turn into a lifelong commitment.
Or, would she rather choose a man who she may be equally attracted to, and has the potential to help to create a lifestyle that breaks the cycle of poverty her family has been stuck in for years?
A man who can open her eyes to new experiences is naturally going to have a huge leg up on the competition.
This ain’t gold-digging. It’s just basic, human reason.
She doesn’t choose you because of your money, but your money makes you easier to choose.
Younger Generations Improving
A common adage in the men’s dating community is that of the Pareto principle.
The Pareto principle states that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.
This means that 20% of your customers provide 80% of your profit, that 20% of art is consumed by 80% of the population, and 20% of your products create 80% of your revenue.
When applied to dating, this means that 20% of the men are sleeping with 80% of the women.
Or, at the very least, 20% of men have the capability to sleep with 80% of the women.
In the United States and other sexually liberated countries, these numbers are even more extreme. Some estimate that it’s as high as 10% of the men sleeping with 90% of the women in more developed areas.
Ukraine is far, far more traditional than this.
Generally speaking, women are way less likely to sleep around. But, they will often knowingly go on dates and possibly sleep with one man while knowing that he is dating other women.
They know a truly high-value man is not as common in Ukraine, and that if they find one, they should hold onto him at all costs.
Even if it means he may date other women as well, many Ukrainian women will still stick by an above-average man.
For a man in this position, the world is quite literally his oyster.
The Top 20% of Ukrainian Men
As an expat in Ukraine, the path to becoming one of the top 20% of men in the country is relatively straightforward.
In the United States, a man may never reach his full potential. But, Ukraine offers a unique opportunity for expedited personal growth.
You could spend a few years working online. Saving your money, gradually scale your dainty income stream into a full-blown online business. You’d be amazed at what you can get paid for on the internet. You would be even more amazed at what you can outsource to others for half the cost.
Pro-tip: Check out our guide to working in Ukraine for some ideas on this.
Your living expenses would be 30% of what you’d pay in the USA. This allows you to reinvest your extra money back into yourself, or set it aside for savings.
You would start a rigorous physical fitness program, and maybe even hire a personal trainer for €5-€10 an hour. Maybe, you read a few books on fashion. And of course, go on plenty of dates and meet lots of Ukrainian women to improve your skills with them.
Even starting from scratch…you’d get there in 2-5 years, tops. You could have a ripped body, a fat savings account, and a few beautiful girlfriends in that time.
Here’s an analogy that I often swear by when I describe the experience of an expat in Ukraine…
Living in Ukraine as a foreigner is like living life on “easy mode.” Master easy mode, and you’ll eventually enter “god mode.”
The Upper Class in Ukraine
But, what about the native Ukrainian men who are in that upper 20%?
Individuals such as these typically come from families who are particularly industrious. They likely managed to take advantage of the developing market economies in countries like Ukraine.
When communism fell, many people became millionaires overnight. This is worthy of its own post in an of itself, but, just know this…
A select few were quite literally given massive amounts of property, factories, and other investments if they “knew someone” as the communist government imploded.
Talk about being in the right place at the right time!
It’s been 20 years since this happened, giving these new industries plenty of time to grow in the new capitalist economy. By now, these families are at oligarch level. They’re the ones buying $300,000 apartments in Kyiv and driving Bentley’s.
On the other hand, many of these guys may also just be members of criminal organizations who do engage in racketeering, oil smuggling, and perhaps even the drug trade.
It’s a bit more accepted to be involved in organized crime in Eastern Europe than in the West. If you’ve ever wondered how so many people manage to purchase exotic cars and have the latest iPhone in a country like Ukraine, this is also how.
Generally speaking, these are not people you have to worry much about, provided that you don’t get involved in what they’re doing. Even when dating abroad in a place like Ukraine, there is generally not much hostility towards foreigners dating their women.
In any case, a man like this will also do extremely well in Ukraine.
He will have his pick of the litter among the finest Ukrainian girls his city has to offer. His strong provider status, mixed with the fact that he’s a local where there is no real chance for miscommunications primes him for success.
As you can see, doing well in Ukraine has less to do with your foreign status, but more to do with your individual value as a man.
Be a High-Value Man
The moral of the story here is not to hate on any particular demographic. Instead, it’s simply to show that it pays to be a high-value man, no matter what culture you live in.
But, as a Westerner, it’s generally easier to become a high-value man while living in a place like Ukraine. This is due to the low cost of living, a traditional culture that values men, and an abundance of beautiful girls.
And of course, in a country where the local economy is in shambles and where women are encouraged to be as beautiful as possible, Ukraine presents a “perfect storm” of factors that make it extremely desirable for an ambitious man.
Like any other population of people, there’s going to be those who absolutely excel and those who lag behind. As a man, it’s your job to try to get into that upper echelon.
And, I tend to think that an expat lifestyle is the best way of doing so. But, you must also consider that expats are not the only ones who want to maximize their potential.
The Sins of Our Fathers
You have to remember that times are certainly changing in Ukraine.
“Forgive me for the sins of my father,” many young Ukrainian men seem to be saying. A whole legion of young guys have shaken off the communist mentality of their parents and want to participate in the new, global economy.
They too, want a piece of the action.
The problem with many poorer countries is that the best and brightest find a way to get out. Through sheer will, determination, and a few well-placed connections, they often find ways to get second passports, work abroad, and leave behind their home country.
This is great, for them. What is left, however, is a country that the most skillful and intelligent have abandoned. Perhaps this is why Ukrainian men get such a poor reputation…the best often leave the country.
And, what about for those unable to do this?
Sure, you have your hooligans and your higher than average alcohol consumption per capita. But, there’s an entire generation of young men in Ukraine who really not that different from you.
They’ve begun to wise up and stop looking for business opportunities in the country. They realize that their labor is worth far more on the internet when traded for US dollars. In this group, you’ll find bitcoin traders, digital marketers, drop shippers, and many other men who know what it means to put in the work needed.
Whether or not they will succeed, or they will fail, is another topic entirely. Their future, unfortunately, largely rests in forces that are outside their control.
Conclusion
There is always going to be a sect of women in the population who date men that are not native to their home countries.
For people from the West, this is a hard topic to understand as the country is literally made out of foreigners. Americans, as a whole, tend to not share much of national identity. Ukrainians, on the other hand, definitely do.
All in all, understanding the unique situation that Ukrainian men are in is essential when learning just why a place like Ukraine is so ripe for the picking. At the same time, we should understand the struggle that these men face, and realize that they’re not entirely different from us.
Real recognizes real, as they say.
As someone who’s living in Ukraine, I find it important to be respectful to the local culture, which largely involves establishing positive relationships with both Ukrainian women and men alike.
In the best of scenarios, you can spread prosperity in the region. As an ambitious man, you can create job opportunities for locals as a result of what I would hope to be a growing online business for yourself.
Above all else…I encourage expats to understand that, despite the fact that the word “privilege” is thrown around pretty mercilessly today, being a Westerner in a poor country certainly comes with a huge level of just that.
Privilege.
Privilege to have been born in America.
The privilege of being a native English speaker.
The privilege that comes from being from a capitalist country.
It’s real.
Use it wisely.
By the way, if you stumbled upon this article because you’re interested in dating Ukrainian women, I highly suggest you check out this website.
So Ukrainian women ARE gold diggers. Preferring a man over an other because of what he has to offer (economically) is gold digging. Non gold diggers make efforts to earn money themselves to support the man they like for his character and look, while precisely gold diggers choose men “rationally and with cold blood” and stand the humiliation to know that his man also sleeps with other woman just because he is an occasion (economically).
I don’t know if you even realize the real meaning of what you wrote. If you wanted to show us that Ukrainian women aren’t gold diggers you failed.
Every woman in the world wants a man who makes more money than her.
That’s a fact that’s not just proven by observation, but also statistics as well. Women almost always marry men more affluent than them.
Most men will never understand what it’s like to be in the top 5% of income earners in a country. It always assists in your love life. It’s never about transferring resources or giving girls money, either. That’s ridiculous.
It is, however, about being able to say, “Hey, you know what let’s go to the mountains tomorrow and stay in a nice hotel for three days. I’ll pay for everything, just call off work. See you at 5.”
Now, take the same man (looks, personality), but give him a crappy, mid-tier job where he’s constantly working and hardly has enough extra income to save anything. He’ll be able to offer his woman much less in terms of shared experiences, and therefore, less fun memories together, and less chances to form a serious bond that will go the distance.
Any girl who just asks you for money straight up is obviously not somebody you should spend time with. But, when you look at the popularity of the “sugar baby” phenomenon in the United States, you begin to see it’s actually Western women who are the most obvious gold diggers.
Ukrainian women are not gold-diggers. They are just smart enough not to simply sleep with a guy because he’s “funny” and they like to smoke weed together. They are traditional women who value stability and the prospect of an actual future together.
Thank you for your well-written and informative article. Especially your comments about Ukrainian women. In my experience of knowing women across three continents a woman will be attracted to a man who has a certain financial standing. Why? Because at certain ages they will want to know if he can provide for the children they may have or have. In the meantime they want fun at a certain standard. Taking a woman to a restaurant, the theatre or the ballet takes a certain amount of cash flow. The women I like would not be impressed if I only took them to McDonald’s. Now at 75 years and a widower I’m now looking to place my training programs online and coach people via the internet. It’s now time for my next challenge. I can be comfortable here in Australia or move outside my comfort zone. ‘Tis the latter which I find exciting. The low cost of living in the Ukraine is appealing. I could pay someone to clean my apartment and do my shopping. I like cooking as I find it relaxing. Ukraine is central to the UK and the Middle East. Your comments on finding a place to live and how to go about it was most valuable, especially those negotiation points (e.g. Use Uber for one week then cash for the next four) Of course meeting a beautiful woman in her 60s would be a bonus.
Thank you so much
Gerald
The new Ukrainian cabinet, confirmed by the parliament on Thursday, is more interesting for the people it doesn t include than for those it does. Ukraine s experiment with bringing foreign reformers and private sector professionals into the government is now officially over, and it has failed. President Petro Poroshenko tapped his long-time protege and ally, former parliament speaker Volodymyr Hroisman to form the government. The result, for the most part, is a cabinet of Poroshenko loyalists; the unpopular businessman-president is consolidating power, much the way his hapless predecessor Viktor Yanukovych once did. Though, at several points in the negotiating process, Hroisman reportedly refused the prime minister s job unless his conditions were met, these reports should be taken with a grain of salt: Poroshenko wants Hroisman to look independent, not least in the eyes of Washington politicians who have been wary of Poroshenko monopolizing power.
I found this to be an interesting article because I am an American girl who has had the opportunity to date a variety of American and non-American men. I have had a Japanese boyfriend, Filipino-American boyfriend, Hawaiian boyfriend, Korean-American boyfriend, and several Caucasian American boyfriends. Recently I met a Ukranian guy and we have had several dates together. It has been a unique experience for me, as I am trying to understand his thinking and what sort of cultural background he has come from. This article gave an interesting perspective and sort of matches. So, he apparently has an MBA from Ukraine, however because of expectations and maybe the country’s difficulties he came to America and has lived here for over 10 years. He works in a physical labor job doing roofing. I’m not sure if he makes good money in American standards, or what he prefers to make. However, several things I have noticed in going on dates with him. 1) He drinks and smokes daily. 2) He likes nice things but is not only about status. 3) He has a very tight Ukranian community however many of these friends of friends stop in a lot and encourage the partying and drinking mentality. 4) He works hard but I think feels he would rather be higher up in status and doesn’t seem happy with his life, but also has feelings I noticed about the negativity about communism that suppressed his people, and likes the freedom in America. 5) He opens the car door for me and when we do grocery shopping he wants to hold the bag. 6) He pays for my meals and refuses to take my money when I offer 7) When we have fought a tiny he takes my concerns into his feelings. 8) He is blunt and sometimes says what he wants. 9) He can be easy to get frustrated over something I believe is very small. 10) He curses a fair amount, not as much as his ‘ Ukranian friends’. I’m not sure if I will keep going on dates and create this into something serious for the fact that he smokes and drinks a lot and I don’t want that for a family someday, however I am intrigued at the different culture and how he treats me like a lady (even though in America, American girls are quite independent and can sometimes feel like holding a door is weird, but I kind of am surprised because I kind of like it and am not used to many American guys doing that – only occasionally and it depends on the type of guy and maybe how he was brought up.) Anyone elses thoughts?
I am going out with a Ukranian boy here, and it is being an interesting experience.
We went out for 2 times, and nothing happened.
Is it normal or he wants to be my friend?
Do Ukranian guys believe in friendship between man and woman? – I heard not.
There are a few comments i would like to make from a Ukrainian woman persprctive. 1. There are not less men in Ukraine than women. In fact ib the age group under 30 there are more men then women (official statistics). In the age bracket 30-40 the number equalizes. Where there are more women than men its in the age 50-60 and above. This is explained by life epxectancy 67 years for men, 73 years for women in Ukraine. What is important though is that there are less eligible men in Ukraine . Reasons as explained in the article, low wages, alcohol and drug abuse, crime. Thats where an eligible western man may come in.
2. There is no rampant alcoholism in Ukraine. In my immediate family and acquintances there are no alcoholics. Also, i dont see women alcoholism in Ukraine. If we compare to the UK which i visited and saw drunk young women with their legs up near pubs on Friday nights, i haven’t seen such a thing in Ukraine.
3. Younger generation is different from older generation in Ukraine. They look for opportunities to earn other than at a factory or a market good money is paid in the IT sector, trading, wholesale, digital, agricultural trading , small and medium businesses.
4 Ukrainian women are different its not like we are all the same. I would say there are different types among us. There are materaliatic and not materialistic (good girls) types. Good girls dont go to night clubs. You are more likely to meet them at university, work places, language schools, social courses and charity events, travelling.
4. There is certain doubt with respect to western men coming to Ukraine. It has been caused by years of sexual tourism to Ukraine. Be prepared that the initial thought Ukrainians will have about you is that you are a sex tourist. To overcome this you need to stay in the country for a while and do something useful. Then people in your acquaintance will change their opinion.
5. The majority of daying websites are 90% scam. They are used for money making from subscriptions, pay per email, gifts etc to meet a genuine persin come to the country. Also i would recommend using Facebook communities such as Expats in Ukraine for connecting with people. You may ask a simple question on the community and go fron answers and people who responded.
6 there is no guarantee that your relationship with a Ukrainian woman will ve successful. We are all human and things change. Even people who were married for years and have kids, get divorced. It all depends on compatibility and life circumstances.
7. On the other hand divorce laws and enforcement are slack in Ukraine, alimonies are low and often not enforced, so there is no such thing as divorce rape in Ukraine, its simply not working.
8. Beeare of an age difference more than 10 years. I would say that it depends on maturity of partbers and common grounds. A couple of 60 years man and 40 something woman may work better than a coulle of 40 something man and 20 something woman. Use common sense.